Match of the Noughties: 2009 – Manchester City 4 Sunderland 3

DURING the course of my journalistic career, I have twice been interviewed in my back yard by Scandinavian television stations. In both cases, the catalyst was Manchester City, that great curiosity of English football.

Match of the Noughties: 2008 – Derby 2 Sheffield United 1

THERE’S an episode of the Garry Shandling-a-like early 90s Channel Four sitcom Sean’s Show in which the Sean Hughes character, going through one of his various existential crises, is comforted by his friend Tony.

“Don’t worry, Sean,” Tony says, cheerfully. “Nothing lasts forever. Apart from Saturday’s Brookside omnibus.”

Match of the Noughties: 2007 – England 2 Croatia 3

THE evening started with Daily Mail sports columnist Jeff Powell rescuing my passport, and just got more surreal from there.

Match of the Noughties: 2006 – Switzerland 0 Ukraine 0 (Ukraine win 3-0 on penalties)

“YOU can’t be English,” said the young German woman, spotting me with a bottle of cola. “You’re not drinking beer, and you haven’t taken your top off.”

Match of the Noughties: 2005 – KPMG v Npower (score unknown)

I WENT on my first corporate jolly at the age of 10 – which, if nothing else, demonstrates what a precocious child I was.

Match of the Noughties: 2004 – Radcliffe Borough 1 Manchester United XI 2

THOSE of us gathered in the press box at Stainton Park weren’t sure if he was going to turn up. Paul Gascoigne playing for Radcliffe Borough? It sounded too ridiculous to be true. But he did.

Match of the Noughties: 2003 – Newcastle 2 Manchester United 6

THE speculation surrounding David Beckham’s departure from Manchester United had been building for weeks. On an extraordinary afternoon at St James’ Park in April 2003, United began to look as if they could cope without him.

Match of the Noughties: 2002 – Luton 0 Macclesfield 0

HOW attractive does a female stranger (or a male one, if you prefer men) have to be before she (or he) can describe in vivid detail the violent bits in American Psycho without freaking you out? I had plenty of time to ponder that question during the most nightmarish journey home from a football match I have ever had.

Match of the Noughties: 2001 – Stockport 2 Norwich 1

I SEEM to have spent an awful lot of my journalistic career standing in for other people. In the days before squad numbers, I would probably have gone into work with a No. 12 on my back.

Match of the Noughties: 2000 – Burscough 1 Chorley 0

I STARTED as a lot of sports journalists have started. I applied for unpaid work experience on a few local papers, did OK (I turned up on time, I dressed smartly and I didn’t steal anything) and, as a result, managed to get some regular paid shifts as a news reporter. From there, it was a case of making enthusiastic noises about sport in the office and waiting for the right chance to come along.