It’s the late summer of 2007. Rihanna’s at number one with Umbrella while Steve McClaren’s just about muddling through without one. Gordon Brown’s at number 10 and the economy looks unsinkable. Meanwhile, a no-mark journalist on a local evening paper has an idea. Read the rest of this entry »
MR S: Hello?
CALLER: Hello, is that the BBC Puns Department?
MR S: Does it sound like the Puns Department to you?
CALLER: Oh, sorry, have I come through to Sarcasm?
MR S: Well done, you.
CALLER: I’m really sorry to have bothered you.
MR S: Oh, it’s fine, honestly. Don’t worry your head about it. Read the rest of this entry »
IF this blog has a theme, I’d say it’s a celebration of the mediocre. Despite being based in Manchester, I’ve written next to nothing on here this season about the battle for the Premier League title between Manchester City and Manchester United.
I have, on the other hand, written reams and reams about Aston Villa, the epitome of Premier League mediocrity this season, purely on the basis that they’ve been last on Match of the Day more often than any other team. Read the rest of this entry »
THERE are many, many candidates for the title of saddest film ever made: Bambi, Watership Down, The Lion King, Leaving Las Vegas, Requiem For A Dream. Well, I’ve got another one to add to the list. It’s shown before every single West Brom home game. And I just can’t get it out of my head.
I’ve no idea if the film has a title, so I’m going to call it: The Birth Of Eternal Disappointment. Read the rest of this entry »
I DON’T know how much time David Cameron spends awake in bed at night worrying about his favourite football team, as I’m not married to him. (We dated briefly, years ago, but I really don’t want to talk about it.) I suspect, though, that he devotes more time to fretting about Abu Qatada than Aston Villa. Read the rest of this entry »
TO paraphrase George Bernard Shaw: History repeats itself, blah blah blah. If you’d timed your TV viewing right this weekend, you could have started and finished your Saturday by watching Terry Connor fight a losing battle against relegation. Read the rest of this entry »
I have a problem. I’m a big fan of Arsenal. (That’s not the problem, by the way.) A few days ago, I did a Gunners podcast and made a few comments about Liverpool not playing on the anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster. All of a sudden, I’m Public Enemy No.1 and sales of QI and Jonathan Creek DVDs on Merseyside have gone through the floor. I’ve tried to say sorry by making a donation to the Hillsborough Justice Campaign, but my apology has been rejected. I’ve even had death threats on Twitter. What do I do?
Alan D, Essex Read the rest of this entry »