Gareth Bale’s Tottenham curse: The update

THERE always seems to be a surge of traffic on this blog when Gareth Bale plays in a Premier League game for Tottenham. I know this because WordPress gives me a breakdown of how many hits each blog post gets per day, and of the terms people are typing into search engines to get here.

(On that subject, comfortably the strangest search term anyone has ever used to get to this blog was “is ray stubbs gay”. I’ve certainly never written a post on that topic, so I’d like to know how the search engine in question ended up sending that particular piece of web traffic my way. For what it’s worth, I seem to remember Stubbs had his girlfriend in the audience when he appeared on Celebrity Fame Academy a couple of years ago. I hope that helps.)

Sure enough, after Bale played in Tottenham’s 2-0 defeat at Liverpool last night, I got a whole load of hits from people who had typed “gareth bale curse” into Google and ended up here.

Most of them seem to have ended up being directed to a post I wrote in the my-God-is-that-still-going, ahem, I mean ever-popular Last on MOTD strand of this blog last May, in which I attempted to eke out a piece on a goalless draw between Everton and Tottenham by waffling on about the fact that Bale had never appeared on the winning side in a Premier League game, almost two years after arriving at White Hart Lane.

But that stat is now out of date. So to help all those people who have pitched up here wanting to know how many times Bale has picked up a Premier League win bonus, let me tell you: it’s three, and all of them were substitute appearances.

Bale played the last six minutes of Tottenham’s 5-0 win over Burnley in September, he came on in the final minute of their 3-0 victory over Manchester City last month (and I was there to witness it – I should get a T-shirt printed) and the last three minutes of the 2-0 triumph over West Ham on Boxing Day.

But he still hasn’t won a Premier League game in which he has played from the start. If that changes, I will be happy to let you know, if I remember.

(Incidentally, the second most bizarre search engine term to have brought anyone to this blog was “how many gcses has danielle lineker got”, which takes people to my Last on MOTD entry from last weekend. It’s good to know that my blog is performing some kind of service. One day, I may figure out exactly what that service is.)

UPDATE: January 26: Well, any lingering remains of the curse have been well and truly exorcised. Bale started Tottenham’s 2-0 win over Fulham last night. Having finally started a Premier League victory, he has emphatically consigned one of the competition’s more curious stats to history.


8 Responses to Gareth Bale’s Tottenham curse: The update

  1. Milky Bar Yid says:

    F*** off with this nonsence – the reason we lost last night is because of big players bottling it yet again. Gareth Bale played well enough at Anfield and was arguably our best player v Hull so lets get it right – we lose games becasue of our c***ish attitude….not one player

  2. spur1950 says:

    piss off and get a life typical arse loving press
    switch round to suit youself now shut the f*** up about gareth bale who had another good game with a name whalley
    you should look at yourself yes the stat is out of date and that goes for you well passed your sell by date

  3. Chopper says:

    You’ll be pleased to know that typing “is Ray Stubbs gay” into Google in quotes brings up one solitary entry which is of course for this very post.

    If you search without the quotes you’ll find this gem from

    10) Garth Crooks (BBC)

    Not to be confused with country singer Garth Brooks, touchline reporter and pundit Garth Crooks has the distinction of being the only pundit in the house to be regularly compared with Jeremy Paxman. This is owing to his rather pressing interview style that often results in him making statements rather than actually asking questions. He is also similarly irascible to the Newsnight presenter and is rumoured to have called Ray Stubbs gay* after a disagreement on Final Score. *may not actually be true

  4. lendmeyourcreditcardGary says:

    Danielle Lineker has 0 gcses alledgedly! #:) But a nice credit account now!

  5. mikewhalley says:

    Milky Bar Yid – I wasn’t suggesting that Tottenham lost on Wednesday night because Gareth Bale was playing. I’m baffled as to how you’ve reached that conclusion.

    Spur1950 – Am I past my sell-by date? Very possibly. Am I an Arsenal fan? No. The rest of your post is just childish drivel (although it is quite funny to see how enraged you’ve got over this). Have you ever thought of starting a blog?

    Chopper – Whenever I hear a Garth Brooks record, I do find myself thinking of Garth Crooks. The difference, of course, that a Crooks question goes on for longer than a Brooks song.

    LendmeyourcreditcardGary – Lineker definitely said his missus had eight GCSEs on All Star Mr & Mrs last week!

    To the two people whose comments I’ve deleted – I had to do so to ensure I don’t get sued for libel. Nothing personal.

  6. RedandDread says:

    Poor Old Gareth and dem sorry Spuds,…………Hahaha…heeheehee.

    Funnily, was wondering whether that “curse” was still alive. Happy to hear that it is.

  7. Chris Ballard says:

    I hope you realise that I’m now going to start using the weirdest Google phrases in the vain hope that one of them will lead me here. So, if you happen to spot an uber bizarre on in your wordpress stats in the coming weeks, you’ll know it was me.

  8. Donna says:

    Keep up with this nonsense! But drop the nonsence, obviously – I like a literate blog.

    And if anyone out there wants a brown-nose “oooh my team is sssoooo effing lovely” blog – why not write it yourselves or go via the club sites? This really isn’t the blog to read if you only see one side of the game.

    Keep the weird slant, the humour and the mighty Gubbometer :)

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