Do I look like Malcolm Glazer?

DILBERT creator Scott Adams once suggested that humans had a limitless capacity for stupidity, selfishness and horniness. I’ll only deal with stupidity for now (just you wait for the blog entries on the other two, though).

There’s a remarkable story in today’s Manchester Evening News (and I’m not being biased just because I work for them – it truly is remarkable) about a local rabbi called Arnold Saunders who has been repeatedly been mistaken for Manchester United owner Malcolm Glazer.

Rabbi Saunders, a columnist for the Jewish Telegraph – who first ran the story – has been mobbed and attacked by United fans convinced he is Glazer. This is despite the following three facts:

1) Saunders is aged 49, and Glazer is 80.

2) The two men look nothing alike. They both wear glasses and have a beard. And that’s it.

3) Malcolm Glazer visits Manchester about as frequently as he visits the moon.

On at least one occasion, Rabbi Saunders has had a can of beer poured over him by a United fan apparently convinced that he was Glazer. It’s hard to know what to say in response to this.

“Despite the fact that he’s about 30 years older than me, I guess there is a bit of a resemblance,” Saunders said, his tongue presumably wedged in his cheek.

“We both have glasses and beards, although his is a bit more ginger than mine.”

Saunders has lost count of the number of times he has been mistaken for United’s American owner.

He added: “Bizarrely, it’s also happened when I’ve been at FC United games – where you would think fans would be a little surprised to see Malcolm Glazer.”

Sorry, Rabbi Saunders, but nothing surprises me about the human condition any more. I once spent six months working on a newspaper in Chorley, where we had so many phone calls from locals convinced that they had encountered UFOs, that we had our own resident paranormal expert.

Anyway, I’d better stop there, as I’ve just seen Malcolm Glazer walking down Deansgate…

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