Unless I’m very much mistaken…

“UNLESS I’m very much mistaken,” Murray Walker once said during a Formula One commentary, only to interrupt himself mid-observation. “I am very much mistaken!”

The first half of that quote became so closely associated with Walker, that it ended up as the title of his 2003 autobiography.

There may be another chapter to write. Unless I’m very much mistaken, Bruce Willis is being lined up to play Walker in a film biopic of Michael Schumacher.

It is, of course, possible that I am very much mistaken. The man who saved the world in Armageddon by drilling through an asteroid and blowing it up from the inside playing the man who once said: “He’s obviously gone in for a wheel change. I say obviously because I can’t see it.” Can this be right?

According to the Daily Mirror, it is. But then, according to the same report: “Walker is currently on ITV’s Formula One coverage after the BBC lost the rights to screen the motor sport.”

Walker, of course, retired from television commentary seven years ago. The BBC, who lost the rights to Formula One in 1997, will take them back from next year. (OK, every journalist has gaps in their knowledge, but don’t the Mirror have sub-editors?)

The Willis-Walker story isn’t quite as ridiculous as it sounds. (After all, how could it be?) It’s certainly not as crazy as, say, James McAvoy playing John Motson, or Matt Damon playing John McCririck.

Willis, like Walker, is bald and has been known to wear spectacles.

As Walker himself joked: “I always regarded Bruce Willis as a mirror image of myself, don’t you know…a much younger version though.”

And now excuse me while I interrupt myself.

The most bizarre part of the whole affair is this: according to the German’s manager, Willi Weber, Schumacher will play himself if the film goes ahead. This is despite the fact that, for all his driving brilliance, Schumacher has rarely looked comfortable when put in front of a camera.

(It also begs the question: If Schumacher is that actively involved in any such film, would that affect the way it portrayed his infamous collision with Damon Hill at the 1994 Australian Grand Prix? And am I perhaps taking this nonsense a tad too seriously?)

The prospect of Bruce Willis and the Schu trying to act each other off the screen is intriguing. Can’t wait to see how the scriptwriters work in the Max Mosley subplot, either.


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