NO Match of the Day this weekend for Gary, Alan, Lawro and the other Alan to make mildly sarcastic comments during (and for me to make mildly sarcastic comments about). But we’ve still got a chance to catch up with the latest developments below the top flight in The Football League Show.

So let’s see what’s going on in the Football League via the wonders of internet technology, in four easy bite-sized sections.

In part one, host Manish Bhasin is joined by Steve Claridge and Ronnie Corbett to discuss the League scene – but Diego Maradona sadly fails to show – while Neil Warnock uses extraordinary methods to inspire his Crystal Palace side to victory, watched by the world’s most annoying commentator.

In part two, Warnock is hailed as a character to rival even Bernie Clifton, Lizzie gets a surprising request for some Captain and Tennille, while Clem meets the football manager who has more GCSEs than anyone else in the world.

Part three sees Ronnie’s amusing Nottingham Forest anecdote interrupted by a surprise phone call from a football legend, while Lizzie surfs the nation’s unfocused rage.

And finally, Ronnie introduces a big musical finish – much to Steve’s delight – and Elaine Paige reveals her fear for Nigel Clough’s long-term future as Derby’s manager.

If you enjoyed the show’s distinctive theme tune, by the way, you’ll be delighted to know that there is a full-length version.

Interesting stuff.

IS it poppy power or poppy fascism? Depends whether you read the Daily Mail or the Guardian, I guess. No one ever got this worked up over Comic Relief’s red noses, though.

The same point has been made over and over again this week in response to the Mail’s campaign to get all 20 Premier League teams to wear embroidered poppies on their shirts to mark Remembrance Day: Shouldn’t they have the right to choose?

Marina Hyde made that point most stridently on Thursday in the Guardian, a paper which never knowingly agrees with the Mail on anything.

“With a tedious inevitability, the Daily Mail’s campaign to divide the whole of Britain into people who wear poppies and people who are subhuman scumbags has reached the Premier League,” she wrote, going on to argue that the Second World War, in particular, was fought so that people might have freedom of choice in their lives.

When the Mail’s campaign began at the start of the week, 12 top-flight clubs had applied for permission to wear poppies on their shirts this weekend. Of the eight who hadn’t, Portsmouth, Fulham and Aston Villa relented on Tuesday, Blackburn and Stoke did so on Wednesday. By Thursday, only Manchester United, Liverpool and Bolton were left.

As the Mail’s campaign gathered momentum, there was a surreal finish to an article in Thursday’s edition, in which the paper requested comments from United, Liverpool and Bolton – then referred to each response as an excuse. But as Bolton didn’t offer a comment, the paper ended up with this:

BOLTON’S EXCUSE – Club statement: No comment.

By Thursday night, Bolton too had agreed to wear poppies. It meant that all of the players featured on last night’s Match of the Day had poppies on their shirts. Well, nearly all of them.

Last night’s final match: Blackburn 3 Portsmouth 1
Commentator: Alistair Mann

Ryan Nelsen is not known for his goalscoring prowess. It took the defender 136 games and more than four years to score his first goal for Blackburn, having arrived from US club DC United in January 2005. But it only took him another 18 matches to get his second, so I suppose he is on something of a roll.

Nelsen’s second Rovers goal gave them the lead against Portsmouth yesterday, after Jason Roberts had cancelled out Jamie O’Hara’s first-half opener for Portsmouth. Roberts, who also scored Blackburn’s third, clearly had a poppy on his shirt. But when Nelsen celebrated, he didn’t.

I can only assume that Nelsen did have a poppy on his shirt when he started the game – then had to change it for some reason, and the replacement was not appropriately embroidered. (If there was a shirt change, it was edited out of the MOTD highlights.)

Will the absence of a poppy on his shirt lead to Nelsen being vilified? Or will a bit of common sense prevail? You know, I think it might be a close-run thing.

For the record, I did buy a poppy. And I did so because I wanted to.

Gubbometer

1. Portsmouth: 4 (GD: 1. 2L: 0.)
2. Everton: 3 (GD: 1. 2L: 0.)
3. Wigan: 3 (GD: 0. 2L: 1.)
4. Gubba: 2 (GD: 2. 2L: 1.)
5. West Ham: 2 (GD: 1. 2L: 1.)
6. Blackburn: 2 (GD: 1. 2L: 0.)
7. Hull: 2 (GD: 0. 2L: 4.)
8=. Stoke: 2 (GD: 0. 2L: 2.)
8=. Wolves: 2 (GD: 0. 2L: 2.)
10=. Bolton: 1 (GD: 0. 2L: 2.)
10=. Birmingham: 1 (GD: 0. 2L: 2.)
12. Fulham: 1 (GD: 0. 2L: 1.)
13. Aston Villa: 1 (GD: 0. 2L: 0.)
14. Sunderland: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 4.)
15. Burnley: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 2.)
16=. Arsenal: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 1.)
16=. Chelsea: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 1.)
16=. Tottenham: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 1.)
19=. Liverpool: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 0.)
19=. Manchester City: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 0.)
19=. Manchester United: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 0.)

GD = Gubba difference
2L = On second last (Last night’s penultimate match was: Tottenham 2 Sunderland 0.)

(NB. Teams will receive one point for every time they appear last on MOTD. Appearances on MOTD2 are not included. Teams level on points will be separated by Gubba difference – the number of times a team is on last with Tony Gubba commentating. Teams still level will then be separated by the number of times they appear second last on MOTD.)

A FEW years ago, Darlington signed a naming rights deal for their ground with a local commercial radio station. As a result, their home became known as The 96.6 TFM Arena. Not surprisingly, BBC Radio Cleveland didn’t bother with the sponsor’s namecheck.

Just under 30 miles up the A1, Newcastle United have managed to come up with an even more cumbersome name for their stadium. From today until the end of the season, it will be known as sportsdirect.com @ St James’ Park by precisely no one outside of the club’s employment.

Newcastle’s embattled owner Mike Ashley isn’t the first person to name a football ground after his own sports retail company. Dave Whelan did that at Wigan a good 10 years ago. However, while some people are still calling Wigan’s ground the JJB Stadium even though the sponsorship deal expired last summer, St James’ Park’s new name is about as likely to catch on as the TFM Arena did at Darlington.

Some sponsored stadium monikers catch on, some don’t. But the golden rule is this: If your company is planning to sponsor a stadium, and you want the name to stick, get in there while it’s being built.

That’s where Whelan had an advantage over Ashley. The Wigan owner would never have succeeded with any attempt to rename Springfield Park. But he did oversee the construction of the Latics’ new home in the late 1990s, and so was able to ensure that when it opened, it was known as the JJB Stadium. Calling it the DW Stadium is still taking some getting used to.

Similarly, Arsenal’s new ground was known as Emirates Stadium when it opened, and Bolton’s home was the Reebok Stadium from the start too. It can create a bit of confusion when a stadium naming deal runs out – five years after Huddersfield’s McAlpine Stadium became the Galpharm Stadium, people still sometimes get it wrong. But it’s much easier to change the name of a ground that has only ever been known by a sponsor’s name.

Swansea were aware of this while their new home was being constructed. Club officials told the press not to refer to the ground by its informal nickname, White Rock, because they feared it would jeopardise a naming rights deal. When Swansea started playing there in 2005, it was initially known just as The New Stadium until a naming rights deal was struck with local development company Liberty Property.

Trying to stick a sponsor’s title on a ground with an established name is generally less successful. I don’t know how many Bradford fans refer to their home as the Coral Windows Stadium, but I suspect the vast majority still call it Valley Parade.

Even Darlington’s ground, which has been through six names in as many years since it opened, is still known to many as the Reynolds Arena – although given the former chairman’s colourful recent history, many Quakers fans would probably rather that wasn’t the case. (The ground’s informal name is now the Darlington Arena. Its official name is the Northern Echo Darlington Arena.)

Ashley’s decision to rechristen St James’ Park for the remainder of the season, with a view to selling the naming rights to another company during the summer, has created plenty of anger (among Newcastle fans) and hilarity (among Sunderland fans). In that sense, it just follows on from most of Ashley’s actions at Newcastle over the last 18 months.

But for all the heat the name change has created, who is honestly going to stop calling the ground St. James’ Park?

I HAVE a friend who is a Manchester United fan. Whenever he watches a City game on TV these days, he invariably finds himself asking: “Why didn’t we sign Shay Given?”

It’s a question he’s been asking a lot in recent weeks, with Ben Foster making a couple of high-profile howlers and Edwin van der Sar passing his 39th birthday, while Given has turned in a string of excellent performances, topped by a penalty save in Sunday’s 0-0 draw at Birmingham.

Then again, any United fan wanting to write a history of the club over the last 10 years would have a strong case for calling it: Goalkeepers We Should Have Signed.

Ferguson himself is on record as stating that he should have snapped up Van der Sar when Peter Schmeichel left Old Trafford in 1999. I have another United-supporting friend who repeatedly told me that the United manager should have gone for Turkey’s Rustu Recber after the 2002 World Cup. (Although he went quiet on that one a few years ago.)

Van der Sar isn’t going to carry on forever – and he may even call it a day this summer. Inevitably, then, there has been speculation as to who might be his long-term successor as United’s first-choice goalkeeper. And quite a few people reckon it might be Igor Akinfeev of CSKA Moscow.

Should we read anything, then, into the fact that Ferguson chose to compliment Akinfeev in the match programme ahead of United’s Champions League meeting with CSKA at Old Trafford tonight?

When discussing the CSKA team, Freguson focused most of his attention on Serbian midfielder Milos Krasic – wisely, as it turned out. But he followed that up with a few words on Akinfeev: “Watch out tonight as well for CSKA’s goalkeeper Igor Akinfeev, impressive in the first leg, too – he is a very good player.”

At 23, Akinfeev has already played at two European Championship finals, and will be going to next summer’s World Cup too if Russia can see off Slovenia in a two-legged play-off later this month. Having impressed Ferguson when United beat CSKA 1-0 at the Luzhniki Stadium two weeks ago, Akinfeev had another big chance to impress tonight on his first visit to Old Trafford.

Against a United side which seemed to have been picked with half-an-eye on Sunday’s trip to Premier League leaders Chelsea, Akinfeev proved beyond doubt that he is an excellent shot-stopper. He didn’t have too much to do in the first half as United laboured. But once Wayne Rooney and Patrice Evra came on to help try to pull round a 3-1 deficit, the Russian keeper frustrated them on several occasions.

Whether he’s commanding in the air, it was hard to tell on tonight’s evidence. CSKA defended so deeply on crosses that Akinfeev rarely had to claim anything under any sort of pressure.

The keeper remained rooted to his line as Paul Scholes headed in a Gary Neville free-kick to pull United back to 3-2 with six minutes remaining – but that was more down to the quality of the ball in and the huge number of players crammed along the six-yard line than any fault on Akinfeev’s part. It would be interesting to see how the young goalkeeper coped with an aerial bombardment – because for all United’s late pressure tonight, that was something they didn’t manage.

It was a strange night. United had no Ferdinand, no Vidic, no Anderson, no Carrick and no Berbatov. But Rooney, surprisingly, was on the bench, fresh from setting the world the challenge of analysing the various meanings of the name Kai. (So far, I have learned that it means ‘keeper of the keys’ in Celtic, ‘happiness’ in Chinese and ‘ocean’ in Hawaiian, in addition to discovering that actress Parminder Nagra, who starred in Bend It Like Beckham, also has a child called Kai.)

CSKA were 2-1 up at the break, courtesy of a brilliantly-taken goal from teenage midfielder Alan Dzagoev, who scored from what seemed an impossible angle, and then a very untidy one from that man Krasic, who almost overran the ball as United’s sluggish defence appealed in vain for offside. Michael Owen equalised in between, but looked like the kind of striker who needs six chances to score one.

Ferguson’s defence did not cover themselves in glory. They were dozing again as defender Vasili Berezutsky headed in unmarked at the far post to make it 3-1 shortly after the break. And United weren’t creating enough to look like getting back into it.

A couple of years ago, during a short trip to Dublin, I found myself watching United narrowly beat Roma in a Champions League game on Irish TV station RTE. If you’ve ever watched RTE’s Champions League coverage, you’ll know that the pundits don’t hold back. That night, Eamonn Dunphy was scathing about Nani. “He’s not a player,” Dunphy claimed after watching the Portuguese winger spend 45 minutes doing little of any consequence.

Dunphy is controversial. And sometimes, it seems to my ears that he is being controversial for the sake of it. But a lot of United fans are starting to think he may be right about Nani. Tonight, he created far too little. And it was only when he went off after an hour – with Rooney coming on in his place – that United started to put serious pressure on Akinfeev.

After that, the keeper stood up to everything bar Scholes’ header and a heavily-deflected shot from Antonio Valencia deep into stoppage time as United salvaged a 3-3 draw in a cracking finish.

In the seconds that remained, card-happy referee Olegario Benquerenca managed to send off Deividas Sembaras after the CSKA defender picked up a second yellow card over a clash with lively United substitute Gabriel Obertan.

United fans went home happy, as a draw secured a place in the Champions League knockout stages. Has their manager has found a long-term replacement for Van der Sar? Ferguson denied it afterwards. But he might be worth a try.

AT the Championship match I was covering for a newspaper yesterday afternoon, I was in a dilemma. (Ah yes, good cars those dilemmas, as Ted Chippington used to say – and indeed still does.) Should I try to crowbar in a Hallowe’en reference or not?

Topical references are a bit dangerous in newspaper match reports. Judge them right, and your readers will think you incredibly erudite and clever, and your colleagues will discuss you in the office in hushed awe-struck tones. (That’s complete bollocks in the latter case, and no doubt in the former too, but there must be some reason why we sports journalists try to work the news into our scribblings.)

However, if all of the reporters covering all of the matches for a particular paper have the same topical idea, then the sports section can end up as repetitive a read as one of those chain e-mail jokes that get passed around from office to office.

To give you an example: Around this time last year, the Jonathan Ross-Russell Brand-Andrew Sachs phone brouhaha story had just broken. And one newspaper – I forget which one – contained three separate football match reports all referring to the scandal.

Still, at least the reporters in question were paying attention to the news, and trying to be a bit creative. All you need to do to remember it’s Hallowe’en is look at a calendar.

But it was Hallowe’en. Surely a little reference to ‘horror show defending’ couldn’t do any harm? I rang the office. “Don’t put any Hallowe’en references in your report,” came the reply from the very sensible chap on the other end, no doubt terrified at the prospect of receiving a dozen match reports with exactly the same intro. I didn’t make any reference to Hallowe’en.

If only the people in charge of producing Match of the Day and the Football League Show had phoned the very sensible chap in my office. But they didn’t.

Last night’s final match: Everton 1 Aston Villa 1
Commentator: Alistair Mann

“We’ve got a Hallowe’en Match of the Day special for you tonight,” said Gary Lineker at the top of the show.

“Plenty of treats and horrors, a cauldron of goals, and referees showing more red than a vampire’s feast.”

OK. At least that was the Hallowe’en references out of the way. Until Gary handed over to Manish Bhasin halfway through MOTD to preview the Football League Show. (There isn’t an acronym for that yet.)

“We’ve got some really scary Hallowe’en outfits,” said Manish from the top of the staircase in that echoing warehouse where the League Show comes from. “And I’m not talking about Steve Claridge’s shirt.”

OK. Stop now. Let’s discuss Everton versus Aston Villa, shall we?

As Lineker rightly pointed out, it is the most-played fixture in English top-flight history. Yesterday was the 189th league meeting between the sides. The very first, in September 1888, was won 2-1 by Villa. In the days after that first meeting, fans of both sides were heard to grumble: “Why is the result of my team’s match always read out last by the town crier?”

Apparently, nobody had ever been sent off in an Everton-Villa league game at Goodison until yesterday, when home goalscorer Diniyar Bilyaletdinov and visiting defender Carlos Cuellar both saw red within minutes of John Carew’s equaliser.

Lineker managed to hold off any more Hallowe’en references after that, but Bhasin didn’t.

“We’re close to the witching hour,” he opened the Football League Show. “No tricks but plenty of treats. . . Steve Claridge has ghosted past a few defenders in his time. . .”

And then, over to Lizzie for your texts and e-mails. Her opening gambit? “Did you have a happy Hallowe’en or was it a horror story?”

2 Lizzie stop Hallowe’en references & talking to audience as if we r idiots. Tell Manish that I can read a calendar, and I’ve already had the trick or treaters round tonight. Tried to fob them off with a packet of honey and lemon Lockets but didn’t work. Now my car is covered in scratches. What about super Rochdale, 4-0 at Bournemouth? Keith Hill for England manager!

“We start this Hallowe’en edition with a team whose recent record was pretty frightening,” Bhasin continued, introducing West Brom’s match with Watford. By which time, the clock had passed midnight and it was November 1, and I’d had enough.

Gubbometer

1. Portsmouth: 3 (GD: 1. 2L: 0.)
2. Everton: 3 (GD: 1. 2L: 0.)
3. Wigan: 3 (GD: 0. 2L: 1.)
4. Gubba: 2 (GD: 2. 2L: 1.)
5. West Ham: 2 (GD: 1. 2L: 1.)
6. Hull: 2 (GD: 0. 2L: 4.)
7=. Stoke: 2 (GD: 0. 2L: 2.)
7=. Wolves: 2 (GD: 0. 2L: 2.)
9. Blackburn: 1 (GD: 1. 2L: 0.)
10=. Bolton: 1 (GD: 0. 2L: 2.)
10=. Birmingham: 1 (GD: 0. 2L: 2.)
12. Fulham: 1 (GD: 0. 2L: 1.)
13. Aston Villa: 1 (GD: 0. 2L: 0.)
14. Sunderland: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 3.)
15. Burnley: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 2.)
16=. Arsenal: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 1.)
16=. Chelsea: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 1.)
18=. Liverpool: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 0.)
18=. Manchester City: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 0.)
18=. Manchester United: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 0.)
18=. Tottenham: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 0.)

GD = Gubba difference
2L = On second last (Last night’s penultimate match was: Stoke 2 Wolves 2.)

(NB. Teams will receive one point for every time they appear last on MOTD. Appearances on MOTD2 are not included. Teams level on points will be separated by Gubba difference – the number of times a team is on last with Tony Gubba commentating. Teams still level will then be separated by the number of times they appear second last on MOTD.)

TWO months from tonight, we’ll all be getting ready to welcome a new decade. Already, the reviews of the Noughties are starting to seep out (in summary: Bush, Blair, Cowell, Leona, Boris, David Brent, Am I Bovvered?, Peep Show, John and Edward, Obama, Coldplay – possibly in that order). For Doncaster Rovers and Blackpool, the Noughties have turned out very nice indeed.

The two sides met in the Championship in the nice modern surrounds of the Keepmoat Stadium this afternoon, fought out a thoroughly entertaining 3-3 draw and showed enough about them to suggest they won’t suffer a downturn in fortunes for a while yet. At the start of the Noughties, both clubs were a long way from paradise.

Doncaster started the 2000s with a 0-0 draw at Scarborough in the Conference. I suspect even those who were there have probably forgotten it. Rovers were, under the chairmanship of John Ryan, trying to rebuild after a calamitous few years, which culminated in possibly the only relegation in recent history even more embarrassing than Derby County’s.

You don’t remember Doncaster’s relegation from the Football League in 1998? Let me remind you. They went down with 20 points, 15 adrift of safety, and with a goal difference of minus 83. In the process, they used 45 players, lost 0-5 at home to Peterborough, 0-8 at Leyton Orient and 1-7 at Cardiff – as well as 0-8 at home to Nottingham Forest in the League Cup.

One of those 45 players was a chap called David Smith, who made his one and only Football League appearance in a match against Brighton, chiefly on account of being a neighbour of Doncaster boss Mark Weaver, who had previously been Stockport County’s commercial manager.

The following year, Doncaster’s former owner-chairman Ken Richardson was starting a four-year jail sentence for conspiracy to commit arson, after the main stand had almost burned down in 1995.

Ryan, a Doncaster lad who made his millions in the cosmetic surgery industry, had a big job transforming Rovers. And yet last week, they almost won at Newcastle.

“I think games like this make you realise how far we have come with this club in such a short time – the last 11 years have simply flown by – and that we have arrived when we can take teams like Newcastle head on for the first 60 minutes on their own ground,” he wrote in his programme notes for today’s game.

Blackpool might feel the same way – especially as they actually did beat Newcastle last month. They started the 2000s only one division below where they are now. But Bloomfield Road was falling to bits, and the team would soon drop down into what was once Division Four. They hadn’t been in the top two divisions since 1978.

Today, they’re on the fringes of the Championship play-off race, playing attractive football, and even the ground is looking a bit smarter.

Blackpool’s recent history has been sprinkled with success – and I should know, because it would appear that I’m part of it. You see, at the time of writing, I am referenced on the club’s Wikipedia page. No, I’m not sure why either. But I am. Look.

While I’m immensely flattered that anyone should think my rambling blog entries are worthy of quoting, I can’t help feel there are other journalists, who watch Blackpool far more often than I do, whose words are more worthy of celebration.

I am thinking of Steve Canavan. If you haven’t read Canavan’s match reports in the Blackpool Gazette, you really should. They’re astonishing flights of surreal wonder (and they’re all online as well, so you’ve really no excuse).

Here, for instance, is how he opened his report on Blackpool’s goalless draw with Derby in August:

WORLD records are fascinating.

Some people, for reasons known only to themselves and their carers, must sit around in rooms for days on end thinking of surreal stuff they can attempt.

Thus we have records for such things as most T-shirts worn at one time (David Alexander, who managed 121 – it then took 30 minutes and four blokes with scissors to cut him out) and world’s longest eyebrow (Leonard Traenkenschuh, of Washington, who memorably said of his impressive three and a half inch eye-hairs: “I didn’t set out to do it, I just have fertile brows”).

Derby also has a record-breaking claim to fame. The world’s biggest ever bowl of popcorn was prepared at UCI cinema at the city’s Meteor Centre in 1991.

It took the cinema staff three days to complete the record, starting on August 23 and finishing on August 26.

Well done Derby, you must be proud.

Had Nigel Clough sat down to eat the said bowl of popcorn he would have felt sick, but not as queasy as he might have had he lost this game.

The man is quite clearly wasted in local newspapers.

We’ll have to wait until Monday’s Gazette comes out to discover how Canavan opens his report on today’s 3-3 draw, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a reference to the Pink tribute singer who entertained the crowd before the game and at half-time.

Clad in a remarkable skin tight silvery-purple number, her left breast covered only by a red star, ‘Pink’ (or maybe ‘Pinkish’) was actually Donna Moore, a former estate agent from Doncaster. She’s gone to great lengths to look like Pink – she’s even had the same tattoos done – and sings like Pink, too. However, Donna gave the game away by being far too cheerful. A little more truculence would make the impression far more convincing, love.

She didn’t get to see her home-town team win, although they dominated the opening 20 minutes, and deservedly led through Martin Woods’ well-take fifth-minute goal.

But Blackpool equalised in the 21st minute, when Ian Evatt’s goalbound header from a David Vaughan corner squirmed through keeper Neil Sullivan’s grasp. After the match, Blackpool officials said that Brett Ormerod should be credited with the goal, as he got a touch to Evatt’s header. Either way, it knocked the stuffing out of Donny for a good 10 to 15 minutes.

Billy Sharp, on loan at the Keepmoat from Sheffield United, missed a couple of good chances before restoring Rovers’ lead 12 seconds after the break.

But then came Jay Emmanuel-Thomas. Blackpool have borrowed the teenager from Arsenal, and he looks useful. He was only playing because Scottish midfielder Charlie Adam was suspended – but with just over an hour gone, Emmanuel-Thomas weaved past three Doncaster defenders before stroking the ball into the far corner.

Ben Burgess then fired Blackpool 3-2 up with a belter from 25 yards. But just as those of us who had to file reports bang on the full-time whistle for Sunday papers were preparing to hit the send button, Sharp struck again.

I doubt Canavan will refer to us panicking journalists in his match report, though – as he’s already done it once this season, when covering Blackpool’s last-gasp 4-3 Carling Cup defeat at Stoke:

It was quite entertaining watching all the journalists who have to send stories the moment the final whistle blows, having to frantically rewrite their copy time and time again as every new goal went in at the Britannia Stadium.

One hack in particular, wearing a cardigan and glasses and seated at the far end of the press box, looked as if he might combust at any given moment.

Ah well, at least I wasn’t wearing a cardigan or glasses.

Blackpool’s players felt Sharp’s late equaliser was offside, but manager Ian Holloway didn’t protest. Afterwards he argued, very convincingly, that there are worse things going on in the world than debatable offside decisions.

And in any case, even if Blackpool as a team felt hard done by, it’s a minor blip in a very good period for the club. In the circumstances, a sense of perspective is no bad thing.

BEFORE this weekend, the most contentious post on Hull City striker Jozy Altidore’s Twitter feed was his claim that Olly Murs would win X Factor. (I mean, come on Jozy, surely Stacey’s going to win.)

Then came a post which annoyed Hull manager Phil Brown so much that the American striker is going to be fined for it.

Altidore was dropped from the squad for yesterday’s match against Portsmouth after reporting late at the KC Stadium. He then annoyed Brown further by relaying this on Twitter.

He’s not the first footballer to fall foul of the Twitter curse (Darren Bent, anyone?) and he won’t be the last. But Altidore has perhaps been a little unfortunate, in that his offending post appears to have been put up with good intentions.

The post was quickly removed from his Twitter feed. But from what I’ve been able to gather from various reports, Altidore was apologising to Hull’s fans when he revealed the reasons for his being dropped. No matter, as far as Brown was concerned: The information should have stayed in house.

Altidore could be forgiven for wondering if Twitter is worth all the hassle. (Then again, I sometimes feel the same about this blog. Yes, it’s helped get me some extra work as a freelance, and I’ve had some very kind feedback on what I’ve written. But I also seem to have made a lot of enemies in Barnsley.)

In a blog written for the New York Times’ website in April, Altidore confessed that he had been through a few teething troubles with Twitter.

“For a while, I was having problems getting it to work, but now it’s up and running and I’m adding people I want to follow,” he wrote at the time.

“And I promise to update people following me all the time. Really. Honest!”

No, it’s OK. I believe you.

Altidore actually comes across on Twitter as a good-natured, enthusiastic, down-to-earth chap, who is as amused and frustrated by everyday life as the rest of us. Last Monday’s 2-0 defeat at Fulham left him pretty grumpy, and things soon got worse for him:

To make tonight even worse i lost my car keys! *#+* *#$&%**!!

That post came the day after this very bemused observation:

About to get on the coach to london. I hope im seeing things if not then on the way to training i saw and 80 woman naked at the gas station?

Really? Anyway, that came on the same day as this:

Trying to educate hesselink on how to use twitter i think he might get one….

Probably best to hang fire on that one. On Thursday, he wrote this:

I want to win so bad this weekend the supporters are always behind us its amazing!

And on Saturday morning, this:

Good morning everyone! Hull City fans bring the noise today we are going to need your help. Big day for us.

Now I wouldn’t claim you could ever completely know someone purely by reading their Twitter feed. But Altidore seems to me to be a guy who cares about Hull, and who wants them to do well. As things turned out, he couldn’t do anything to help them yesterday. Maybe he would have brightened up a truly appalling game.

Last night’s final match: Hull 0 Portsmouth 0
Commentator: John Roder

Brevity is the soul of Twitter. Posts have a limit of 140 characters. Hull’s match with Portsmouth was so short of incident that it could be summed up in one Tweet and still leave enough room for a shopping list. So here goes:

hull 0 pompey 0 worst game in PL history? pompey on top couldn’t score, hull hopeless, booed off. Bacon celery light bulbs kitchen roll. LOL

That’s exactly 140 characters (including spaces), if you want to count them. It’s a breeze, this Twitter lark, isn’t it? Wonder if Stephen Fry’s posted a verdict on Hull v Portsmouth…

Gubbometer

1. Portsmouth: 3 (GD: 1. 2L: 0.)
2. Wigan: 3 (GD: 0. 2L: 1.)
3. Gubba: 2 (GD: 2. 2L: 1.)
4. West Ham: 2 (GD: 1. 2L: 1.)
5. Everton: 2 (GD: 1. 2L: 0.)
6. Hull: 2 (GD: 0. 2L: 4.)
7=. Stoke: 2 (GD: 0. 2L: 1.)
7=. Wolves: 2 (GD: 0. 2L: 1.)
9. Blackburn: 1 (GD: 1. 2L: 0.)
10=. Bolton: 1 (GD: 0. 2L: 2.)
10=. Birmingham: 1 (GD: 0. 2L: 2.)
12. Fulham: 1 (GD: 0. 2L: 1.)
13. Sunderland: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 3.)
14. Burnley: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 2.)
15=. Arsenal: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 1.)
15=. Chelsea: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 1.)
17=. Aston Villa: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 0.)
17=. Liverpool: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 0.)
17=. Manchester City: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 0.)
17=. Manchester United: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 0.)
17=. Tottenham: 0 (GD: 0. 2L: 0.)

GD = Gubba difference
2L = On second last (Last night’s penultimate match was: Burnley 1 Wigan 3.)

(NB. Teams will receive one point for every time they appear last on MOTD. Appearances on MOTD2 are not included. Teams level on points will be separated by Gubba difference – the number of times a team is on last with Tony Gubba commentating. Teams still level will then be separated by the number of times they appear second last on MOTD.)

MANY years ago, Radio Five Live hosted a sports debate show from the Moss Rose. Before the programme, each of the guests were asked to say something into the microphone to check for sound levels – and Jimmy Armfield came out with: “Why is Macclesfield the hardest ground in the Football League to find?”

I suspect Macc’s claim to that title has since been surpassed by Accrington – you can’t even see the Crown Ground until you’re practically inside it. Some clubs in League Two, it seems, are less visible than others.

Macclesfield and Dagenham and Redbridge, who met at the Moss Rose today, are two of the less glamorous names in a division where most of the publicity this season has centred around Notts County. There are people who can give you chapter and verse on Sven, Sol and Munto Finance who would struggle to tell you the name of Dagenham’s ground.

(Then again, I’d struggle to tell you the name of Dagenham’s ground these days. It used to be Victoria Road. Now it’s official title is, I think, The London Borough of Barking and Dagenham Stadium, thanks to a sponsorship deal with the local council. If I’m wrong, and the ground’s title has changed again, then I apologise.)

A shame, really, as Dagenham have had a better start to the season than Notts County. Under John Still’s astute management, they’ve climbed to second in League Two and look a decent bet for promotion.

Like Macc, the Daggers are a former Conference club who have managed to build themselves a solid base in the Football League. And like Macc, they’re doing it on a fraction of Notts County’s budget. You may have heard of their goalkeeper Tony Roberts, who played in the Premier League for QPR several eons ago, but the rest of their squad are not big names.

“Spotting talent outside of the Football League is increasingly an important role for managers at this level,” wrote Macc boss Keith Alexander in his programme notes today. “And John Still certainly has a good eye.

“The Essex leagues are very strong, and over the years have proved to be a very good breeding ground. Dagenham are ideally suited, despite the presence of the London clubs, to take advantage.”

There’s no better example of Still’s eye for talent than leading scorer Paul Benson. Still discovered the striker playing in the Essex Intermediate League. Benson struck 28 goals to help Dagenham win promotion to the league in 2007, and has hit a further 39 for the club since.

But one thing Benson isn’t doing any more is taking penalties. He ballooned one over the bar during last weekend’s 2-1 victory over Bradford, and vowed never to take another. On the back of that, the Barking and Dagenham Post ran a poll asking its readers who should replace Benson on penalty duties. Benson still got 15 per cent of the vote, and came second in the poll. Then again, perhaps not everyone was taking it seriously, as even Still got one vote.

The penalty issue would become significant right at the end, but the game’s first spot-kick came at their end. Having already been reduced to 10 men – Abu Ogogo sent off for an ourageous over-the-top challenge on Macc midfielder Hamza Bencherif – the Daggers went behind to a soft first-half spot-kick.

Nobody in the ground even appealed as Macc striker Matt Tipton jumped with Daggers midfielder Stuart Thurgood inside the box. Referee Oliver Langford saw a push, pointed to the spot and Tipton converted, sending Roberts the wrong way.

It was an entertaining first half, in the stand as well as on the pitch. A few rows in front of the press box, a Macc fan tried to lift his team by repeatedly shouting: “Win the ball! Win the ball! Come on Blues, win the ball!” He would occasionally break this up by yelling: “Come on! Let’s have a goal!”

Macc should have had another goal before the interval, as Ricky Sappleton and Colin Daniel both hit the post within a minute of each other. Sappleton, a young striker on loan from Leicester with the powerful build of Emile Heskey, curled another shot against the post early in the second half, then sub Ben Wright also struck the goalframe.

Any team hitting the post four times are entitled to consider themselves unlucky – but Macc finally got their second goal midway through the second half, as Sappleton ran on to Tipton’s through pass, rounded Roberts and ran the ball into an empty net.

Game over? Not quite. It was only just beginning.

When Wes Thomas pulled one back after a classy one-two with Benson 12 minutes from the end, Macc started to look a little jittery. Then Tipton, already on a booking, stupidly got sent off for kicking the ball away (not for the first time in his career, either).

Two minutes into stoppage time, Macc paid for their inability to kill the game off. Paul Morgan handled Benson’s shot inside the area, and the referee pointed to the spot again.

And the taker? Not Thurgood, who topped the Barking and Dagenham Post’s penalty poll. Certainly not Benson. No, the man given the job of rescuing a point for the Daggers fell to captain Mark Arber, who only came third. He blasted the ball into the roof of the net to make it 2-2. Good penalty, too. He should take them more often. And an excellent come back from Dagenham, who showed plenty of verve despite losing full-back Scott Griffiths to Peterborough in the week.

There was still time for Arber to hit the post with the last header of the match – but it ended as a draw. Good game, I thought. “Bloody rubbish,” shouted a Macc fan walking past me as the final whistle went.

Alexander had few words of praise for the referee. He said: “Once the referee sent one of their players off and gave us a penalty, we’ve all been in the game long enough to know he’s going to even things up. And that’s exactly what he did. He sent one of ours off and gave them a penalty.
“But I’d have taken a draw before the start. They were second in the table and flying, and I think we’ve been excellent.

Still was pleased with the fact that his team kept going for it even though they played for 80 minutes with 10 men. He said: “When we went down to 10 men, we never went 4-4-1 – we went 3-4-2 and took a chance. We thought we’d be brave. If we’re going to get beaten, we’ll get beaten, but let’s try and win it. I would sooner have lost 3-2 trying to win 3-2.”

It’s an attitude that should take Dagenham a long way this season. And if it takes them all the way to promotion, they might even start getting as much attention as Notts County. But I wouldn’t bet on it.

DANIEL Sturridge will have been glad of his substitute’s cameo as Chelsea thrashed Atletico Madrid last night. Not only did he get his first experience of Champions League football, he also saw his appearance time for the season rocket from six minutes to 18.

Sturridge’s move from Manchester City was one of the more curious Premier League transfers of the summer. It made sense for Chelsea, who have been keen to increase the number of English players in their squad before the Premier League adopts UEFA’s ‘homegrown’ rule next season. Whether it’s making a whole lot of sense for Sturridge is another matter.

The striker was by no means a regular during his time at City. He only made 12 starts for the club in all competitions – and just five of those were in the Premier League.

He did, however, prove himself a useful striker when coming on as a sub. A very smartly-taken goal at Blackburn last December kick-started a fightback from 2-0 down to earn a draw at a time when Mark Hughes was going through a very wobbly spell at Eastlands.

It was around that time that Sturridge’s contract issues at Eastlands started to become public. The striker was in the final season of a three-year deal, and his advisers were reportedly asking for a new contract worth £65,000 a week. Given that captain Richard Dunne was on less than that, it was understandable that City were reluctant to grant such a deal.

Sturridge’s contract ran out, and Chelsea moved in for a player they had first been linked with back in 2006, when he sprang to national prominence with two goals in an FA Youth Cup final defeat against Liverpool shown live on Sky.

That was the first time I saw Sturridge play in the flesh, and it was obvious that he had talent. He was strong in possession, had a good eye for goal and had the incredible self-confidence that every good striker needs. He was part of a good City youth side which also included Micah Richards and Michael Johnson. Johnson and Sturridge soon joined Richards as members of the first-team squad.

But while Richards and Johnson initially made a smooth transition to Premier League football (both have found the going much harder, for different reasons, over the last two years), Sturridge took a little longer to find his feet, not helped by hip and hamstring injuries – possibly attributable to growing pains – which slowed his progress.

Around the time Sturridge made his first-team debut for City, in early 2007, I got the chance to interview him. He came across as a very ambitious, determined character. “It doesn’t really matter how long I get on the park; as soon as I get on there, I just want to try to influence it,” he said at the time.

In a separate interview, around 18 months later, he told how his father Michael’s failure to make the first-team breakthrough at Birmingham City had driven him to ensure he didn’t settle for reserve-team football himself.

“It’s important for me to know that reserve-team football doesn’t really count for anything,” Sturridge said in that interview. “The main thing is to get into the first team. You can play in the reserves, but the first team is the ultimate aim.”

Given that statement, it is tempting to wonder how long Sturridge will be prepared to put up with watching Didier Drogba and Nicolas Anelka from the Stamford Bridge bench.

So far this season, Sturridge has been limited to two brief substitute appearances; six minutes at Sunderland in August, 12 minutes last night. It’s more than Ross Turnbull has managed, but there aren’t many other Chelsea players with a squad number who have had less exposure this season.

And that surely can’t have been part of the plan for Sturridge, even allowing for the fact that he only turned 20 last month. At the start of the season, several observers (I’ll pick the Daily Telegraph at random, but they weren’t alone) suggested that he might be an outside bet for England’s World Cup squad next summer. While a lot could change over the next few months, it’s not looking likely at the moment.

Sturridge will be looking to enjoy more success than the last Manchester City player to move to Chelsea. Shaun Wright-Phillips moved to Stamford Bridge in 2005 as a big part of the England set-up. But his appearances at Chelsea were so sporadic that he missed out on the 2006 World Cup squad altogether. After starting only around a third of Chelsea’s games during his three years there, Wright-Phillips returned to City, where he looks much more at home.

It could be argued that Sturridge would still have struggled for regular first-team football had he stayed at City. Would he have found a way past Emmanuel Adebayor, Carlos Tevez, Craig Bellamy and Roque Santa Cruz? I believe he would have fancied his chances.

The other young strikers to have made City first-team breakthroughs around the same time as Sturridge have moved on – Ched Evans went to Sheffield United, while Kelvin Etuhu’s attempts to prove himself during a season-long loan at Cardiff have been thwarted by a long-term injury.

Sturridge did, at least, secure himself a move to a bigger club than Evans and Etuhu did. That’s because he is a better striker; one who is good enough to play for a Premier League club on a regular basis. Maybe he will, eventually. It would certainly be a shame if his talent went to waste.

I MET Jenson Button at a car vehicle leasing office in Stockport once. Well, I say met. Perhaps that’s putting it a bit strongly. But we were in the same room for, ooh, at least 15 minutes. Disappointingly, he didn’t sing We Are The Champions – or any of Queen’s hits.

Instead, he sat on a stool on a stage in front of more than 200 members of staff at the Lex Vehicle Leasing site in Cheadle Heath, and tried to contain his bemusement as one of the throng asked him: “Which five words most inspire you?”

It was a chilly, sunny Friday morning in September 2005, and Button had whizzed in from Monaco via helicopter and sports car to visit the leasing site as part of his corporate commitments to Honda, his team at the time.

A group of local journalists excitedly assembled in the building’s reception area, all of us hoping for the chance to ask Button a couple of questions. We wanted to get him to talk about the Formula One championship, while maybe throwing in some kind of local angle too.

This is a technique often used when a local reporter quizzes a national figure, although you have to be careful not to get too parochial, otherwise you’ll confuse your interviewee.

It’s fine, if banal, to ask: “Are you enjoying your trip to Stockport, Jenson?” But you’d probably be setting the bar a bit high if you asked: “Jenson, do you think the introduction of bus lanes on the A6 has eased traffic flow between Stockport and Manchester, or do you feel that ultimately some kind of localised congestion charge is the only way to go?”

As it turned out, we didn’t get the chance to ask Jenson anything. His public relations people told us that he wouldn’t be doing any interviews. He didn’t have time. Instead, he would be doing a public question-and-answer session with the Lex Vehicle Leasing staff, as arranged, and that would be it.

He was already running late, it was explained, and had to fly straight to Birmingham afterwards for another Honda-related corporate visit, before whizzing on to Warwick and Farnborough. (And people say that the life of an F1 driver is all glamour.)

Not surprisingly, this left the TV and radio reporters rather miffed. But as a newspaper man, at least I had the option of sitting in on the Q&A and hoping that one of the questions from the audience might provoke a newsworthy answer from Button – who was, at the time, trying to tie up the loose ends of a complicated contract wrangle involving Williams and BAR Honda.

The 200 Lex staff were allowed five questions between them, all vetted in advance. However, no one seemed to have bothered to tell Button what the questions would be, as when he was asked what his five favourite words were, he laughed, gamely flailed about for an answer, and then gave up.

A couple of the questions did touch on his contract situation, though, and his answers – although carefully considered – were interesting enough to make a story. And with that, he was back in the sports car and off to Birmingham.

Button actually came across as a charming and likeable chap, albeit someone who inhabits a different planet to us mere mortals. His ability to appear laid back under pressure has come in very handy this season during his tortuous progress to his first Formula One title.

His has been an F1 career full of ups and downs, team changes and contract troubles. But for someone who finished 2008 without a team to drive for following Honda’s withdrawal from the sport, Button has had a memorable 2009.

It wasn’t always certain he would remember it for the right reasons, and his stats for the season look rather lopsided – victories in six of the first seven races, none in the nine since.

But after finishing fifth in Sao Paulo yesterday, Button is the world champion. And judging by his choice of song in the cockpit as he crossed the line, I would guess that “champion” is one of his five favourite words these days. If he ever comes back to Stockport, I might check that with him.