Last on MOTD: Ring my bell

JUST about everyone in Portsmouth knows who John Westwood is. He’s the man who loves Pompey so much that he changed his name by deed poll to John Portsmouth Football Club Westwood.

He’s also the chap who rings a bell at Portsmouth’s home games. Or at least, he does when he isn’t getting into arguments with the club over health and safety regulations.

This is Armfield

IAN Holloway isn’t getting over-excited about Blackpool’s impressive start to the Championship season, so I won’t either. But I’m pleased to see he’s doing well, even if the fans of one or two of his former clubs probably aren’t.

Make hay, Bale

DERREN Brown predicting the lottery numbers? Ha. That’s nothing. My friends, a truly remarkable event has happened this afternoon. Gareth Bale has appeared on the winning side in a Premier League game.

Who is Ashley Asthma?

BLACKPOOL’S teenage centre-back Ashley Eastham has had an eventful 24 hours. Having made his debut in an amazing Carling Cup tie at Stoke, he now finds that several media outlets have renamed him after a chronic respiratory condition.

Adebayor hits the net

HE’S not completed his suspension yet, but Emmanuel Adebayor’s mad, bad and dangerous afternoon against Arsenal a week last Saturday has already been turned into a computer game.

Ten thoughts on the Manchester derby

DID today really bring us the best Manchester derby of all time? Maybe it did if you were a United fan. It certainly did if you were United’s manager. City supporters probably won’t put it at the top of their list, but have plenty of positives to take away too, even in defeat. Here are 10 thoughts on today’s game.

Last on MOTD: Home discomfort in Bolton

I’VE never quite viewed football punditry in the same light since the episode of Fantasy Football in which Frank Skinner bet Alan Hansen £50 that he couldn’t crowbar the word ‘rounding’ into his Match of the Day analysis.

An enjoyable afternoon watching paint dry

WELL, I enjoyed watching Doncaster’s 3-3 draw against Ipswich this afternoon – bags of incident, late goals, great goals, scrappy goals, crunching tackles and some pretty hopeless defending. Doncaster manager Sean O’Driscoll, however, was less positive.

“I thought the first half was like watching paint dry,” he said.

Last on MOTD: An Alanis Morissette moment

PEOPLE go on and on about that Carlos Alberto goal in the 1970 World Cup final as if it were the greatest football moment ever. Come on, it’s not even Brazil’s most memorable World Cup moment. That one came courtesy of Clive Thomas in 1978.

Always double Cech

I RECENTLY celebrated 10 years in sports journalism. (Disappointingly, there was no gala dinner organised in my honour. Instead, I ordered a takeaway pizza.)