Last on MOTD: A goodbye to Tony Gubba

It’s the late summer of 2007. Rihanna’s at number one with Umbrella while Steve McClaren’s just about muddling through without one. Gordon Brown’s at number 10 and the economy looks unsinkable. Meanwhile, a no-mark journalist on a local evening paper has an idea.

Qualification status: It’s complicated

I’VE never understood why anyone would select ‘It’s complicated’ as their Facebook relationship status. For one thing, it can’t make pleasant reading for the person who thought (or perhaps didn’t think) they were in a relationship with you. For another, if you’re not sure whether you’re in a relationship, then surely you’re not in a relationship.

The Marwood factor

THE final league table will tell you that it wasn’t quite the closest title race of all time, but it still won’t have done Manchester City football administration officer Brian Marwood’s blood pressure any good.

Marwood, more than anyone else connected with City, might just have seen yesterday’s extraordinary finish to the Premier League season coming.

Last on MOTD: Pun of the season

TELEPHONE RINGS

MR S: Hello?
CALLER: Hello, is that the BBC Puns Department?
MR S: Does it sound like the Puns Department to you?
CALLER: Oh, sorry, have I come through to Sarcasm?
MR S: Well done, you.
CALLER: I’m really sorry to have bothered you.
MR S: Oh, it’s fine, honestly. Don’t worry your head about it.

Cup final days

I’LL tell you a personal story about the FA Cup; but first, here’s a question: When was the last time that the English domestic season concluded with the cup final?

Last on MOTD: Unmanager of the year

IF this blog has a theme, I’d say it’s a celebration of the mediocre. Despite being based in Manchester, I’ve written next to nothing on here this season about the battle for the Premier League title between Manchester City and Manchester United.

I have, on the other hand, written reams and reams about Aston Villa, the epitome of Premier League mediocrity this season, purely on the basis that they’ve been last on Match of the Day more often than any other team.

Last on MOTD: Please sit down

THERE are many, many candidates for the title of saddest film ever made: Bambi, Watership Down, The Lion King, Leaving Las Vegas, Requiem For A Dream. Well, I’ve got another one to add to the list. It’s shown before every single West Brom home game. And I just can’t get it out of my head.

I’ve no idea if the film has a title, so I’m going to call it: The Birth Of Eternal Disappointment.